Evil Parents of DOOM!
by ShiTiger
Summary: The bomb works, but the blast from Final Space hits both John and Jack. What is a now evil couple to do but try to rule the universe, and train their son to follow in their footsteps. Chapter 1: Gary gets a time out; Chapter 2: Avocato loses all hope in the empire; Chapter 3: Our boys meet... and I'm not going to spoil it for you. Chapter 4: A better ending than chapter 3.
1. Chapter 1

_**"Gary!"**_

The young man flinched as his other father uttered his name in a terrifyingly _guttural_ tone. The Lord Commander stood from his command chair, and shuffled down the steps toward him. Gary slumped in his cuffs, his eyes dropping to the ground.

"Gary, Gary, Gary. My precious son. How are we supposed to keep you safe if _you_ keep running away?" the little alien asked, stopping directly in front of the young man.

"I'm 18. I can take care of myself," Gary insisted, suddenly overcome with the urge to struggle against his cuffs. The two guards flanking him continued to hold fast to his arms. In the end, it was no use. He couldn't escape.

A small, soft hand touched his cheek. "Gary, the only thing your father and I whole-heartedly agree on is that we need to keep you from harm," the Lord Commander announced softly.

Gary wanted to imagine, just for one micro-second, that his pop was back to his normal self. "I know, but…"

The hand suddenly reached up to grasp one of his locks of blond hair, yanking hard enough to bring Gary's head up. The young man found himself looking into the furious golden eyes of Jack Goodspeed, the man he was once proud to call ' _pop_.'

"You do not need to be **HAPPY** to be kept safe, Gary. Take him to his room, and do NOT let him escape again – or your heads will roll," the Lord Commander vowed.

Gary watched his other father turn away, dismissing him without another word.

* * *

"This is for your own good, son," the Lord Dictator announced, his face betraying absolutely no emotion as Gary was forced onto the ship. His husband, the Lord Commander, stood at his side.

"You're locking me up on the Galaxy One for 5 whole years? Without anyone else for company? I'll go crazy!" Gary yelled, struggling to get free from his cuffs. It was rather ironic that the only time the couple seemed to get along nowadays was when they were trying to take away their son's freedom. Usually they were too busy running their _undoubtedly_ evil empire, or arguing furiously, to pay much attention to Gary.

"Don't be so dramatic," the Lord Commander said. "This isn't the first time you've been on this ship, Gary."

"Yeah, with people to keep me company," the heir complained, remembering the guards, his nanny, and his professor. Miss. Withers had disappeared shortly after his return the first time, replaced by the Professor Bitters when he was sent away again at 13. The intellectual man had been executed for teaching some rather 'controversial' things that spoke out against the empire.

"You claim to be an adult, but you still whine like a spoiled child," the Lord Dictator sudden snapped. All eyes were drawn the tall, intimidating figure. "Perhaps 5 years is not enough time to curb your adolescence."

"Gary, this is only temporary," the Lord Commander proclaimed, in a soothing tone. "Once your father and I open a hole to Final Space, you will be the first person exposed to the energy. You will have POWER beyond your wildest dreams!"

"And you will finally take your rightful place as our heir!" the Lord Dictator proclaimed.

"I don't want any of that. Not if it means hurting people!" Gary yelled back, his eyes tearing up.

"Don't worry, son. Five years will pass by in an instant," the Lord Dictator stated.

"You'll have plenty of time to think about your actions. Oh, and before I forget, KVN here is going to be your deep space insanity avoidance companion," the Lord Commander insisted, waving his hand.

A bumblebee-colored robot floated up the ramp to hover in front of him. "Hi, Gary! We're going to be great friends!" the round bot cheered.

"I hate you already. I hate ALL OF YOU!" Gary screamed, even as he was dragged forcibly into the bowels of the ship.

"Welcome back, Gary."

"I hate you as well, H.U.E.!"

* * *

"We could just have him killed, and make a new one," the Lord Dictator proposed, as they watched the ship ascend into the atmosphere.

The Lord Commander's head snapped to the side, his eyes narrowed and murderous. "That is our SON! You will order no such thing!"

"It was just a suggestion, husband," the Lord Dictator commented, making his way back inside.

"It was a horrible suggestion. I loathe you, John Goodspeed," the Lord Commander growled, baring his teeth in his anger.

"If you were not my husband, I would have had you executed years ago," the human informed him, leaning down to fix his mate with a fierce glare.

"I feel the same way!" the Greytrexian replied, glaring right back at him.

The contest of wills concluded the way it always did between the two lords – in a sudden embrace that ended in one of their bedrooms. For all their mutual hatred of each other, some part of them remembered that they were once very much in love.

* * *

Next Chapter: Avocato and little Cata make an appearance five years later.


	2. A special mission

"We have a special assignment for you, General Avocato. We need you to prove your loyalty to the empire," the Lord Commander announced. Next to him, the taller form of the Lord Dictator stood in stony silence. Flanking them were two sets of heavily armed guards.

Avocato nodded, following his leaders down a long series of hallways, before they stopped at the door to the arena.

"This way," the little alien commanded, leading them through the doors.

The general glanced around as they walked, noting the bloodstains on the ground. That was strange. There hadn't been an arena battle in over a week, so it should have been cleaned up by now.

A familiar mohawk caught his eye, causing Avocato to freeze in his tracks. His son, little Cato, was kneeling on the sandy ground, his hands tied behind his back. Still, the general kept his wits about him – refusing to let his face show any signs of concern.

"Here is your task, Avocato. It's a tiny little thing, really. The Lord Dictator and I want you to **SHOOT YOUR SON!** " the little alien's voice came out as a guttural bellow.

The Ventrexian pulled out his firearm as sweat began to soak his fur. This was his first born - His only child! Avocato had served the empire loyally for more than a decade, and now they wanted him to murder…

"I decline," the general stated, whipping around to shoot the Lord Commander for ordering such an appalling thing. He didn't even have a chance to fire. The Lord Dictator was suddenly in control of his body, forcing the gun to his own head.

"DAD! NO, DAD!" little Cato wailed, tearing running down his orange cheeks.

"You're both insane if you think for a minute that I'm going to kill my own son!" Avocato managed to shout, glaring at the rulers of the empire. They glared back at him, clearly furious. And then they did something even more unexpected… they _smiled._

Avocato felt his entire body drop, and he fell to the dusty ground in a heap.

"Congratulations, General Avocato. You passed!" the Lord Commander declared, clapping his hands in glee. He waved to one of the accompanying guards. "Let the boy go."

Once he was free, the Ventrexian child ran into his father's relieved embrace. "That was a test?" Avocato asked hesitantly. "You mean the gun would have misfired..?"

"Oh, goodness no. If you had pulled the trigger, your son WOULD be dead," the Lord Commander stated, laughing manically. Avocato pulled his son closer as waves of dread surged through him.

"If you had pulled the trigger, General, you would have failed, like all the rest," the Lord Dictator suddenly spoke, fixing his gaze on Avocato.

"But never mind all that. You passed. Eeeeee! Isn't that exciting?" the smaller ruler cheered, stepping forward until he was standing face to face with Avocato. His golden gaze flickered to little Cato, and he reached out a hand to stroke his cheek. "Children are so precious, aren't they? It's up to their parents to keep them safe in this terrifying world." The Lord Commander shuffled back to his husband's side.

"You see, General, the Lord Commander and I understand that our children are our future. Anyone willing to kill their own child just couldn't be trusted for this important mission," the Lord Dictator explained, resting a hand on his husband's petite shoulder.

"What mission?" Avocato was a breath away from fleeing the entire planet with his son, abandoning his post as General, and becoming a fugitive. A life on the run couldn't possibly be worse than spending another moment under the couple's tyrannical rule.

The rulers shared a sly smile. "Our son has been… unruly in the past. We feel that he needs a firm, but supportive hand to guide him to reach his true potential," the Lord Commander explained.

"You want me to train him…" Avocato guessed. As a general, he'd managed to catch a glimpse of the young heir a few times. He remembered a human teenager with blond hair, and a rather sulky attitude. No one had seen him in the last five years. There had been rumors floating around that he had been imprisoned off world for disobeying his parents.

"No, General. We intend to have you _**marry**_ him," the Lord Dictator announced.

"What?"

The Lord Commander sighed. "He's in time out on an old prison ship in the Gama quadrant. We will provide you with the coordinates. You will fly to his ship, spend a little time getting to know him, and then return with him to be wed."

"And if I refuse?" Avocato asked, getting to his feet. He pushed little Cato behind him.

" _ **You won't**_ ," came the rasping reply. The Lord Commander raised a hand, and little Cato was pulled away from his father. In moments, the youth was deposited roughly between the two leaders of the empire. "Not if you want your son to remain in ONE piece," the Lord Commander continued, resting a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Dad?" Cato whispered, clearly terrified.

"Alright. I'll do what you say. Just don't hurt my boy," Avocato agreed, his shoulders slumping.

"We knew you'd see it our way," the Lord Commander chuckled.

* * *

Once their general had been escorted to a ship, the Lord Commander turned to the guards. "Prepare little Cato a room next to Gary's. After all, he'll be family soon enough."

"What if my father doesn't go through with the wedding?" The Ventrexian youth suddenly asked, stopping the Lord Commander in his tracks.

"Well, my boy, that would be most unfortunate. We would have to remove him, and you, from our ranks. _**Permanently**_ ," the little alien promised with dark enthusiasm. An instant later, his entire demeanor switched to one of cheer and delight. "But that won't happen. Oh, I can't wait to dote on you once you are my grandson. I have so many things to teach you. How to fly a ship, how to cook a proper meal, how to _**CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES BENEATH YOUR FEET!**_ " the Lord Commander laughed maniacally, even as Cato was led out of the room.

* * *

Wrapping his arms around himself, Cato wondered what kind of man his father was being forced to marry. If this _Gary_ was truly related to the Lords of the empire, then he was bound to be batshit crazy, just like them.

"Come back soon, dad," he whispered, staring out at the moon through the bars on his new bedroom window.

* * *

Note: The Lord Commander's noise of delight in the show is so adorable! Also, he's super over-protective in my fics. And when he's evil, that over-protectiveness can go over to the deep end. I could just see him having bars put on Gary's windows to keep him from running away.


	3. Bonding

Avocato was prepared to hate Gary Goodspeed. A child of the Lord Dictator and the Lord Commander had to be a despot of evil himself.

"Welcome to the ship. The Lord Commander authorized your visit," the ship's AI commented over the intercom.

"Uh huh. So, where is this Gary guy anyway?" Avocato asked, touching the sensor pad to open the door to the hallway.

"A PERSON! A real live ACTUAL person!"

Avocato jumped back a second too late. Long arms encircled him, pulling him close to a lean figure dressed in a red space suit. It was a trap! He had to get free… Wait, was this a hug? "What are you doing?" the general asked, raising a brow at the blond man _hugging_ him.

"I haven't seen another person in, like, five years, man. And you're not one of my parents, so that's a plus. You look familiar… oh well, I'll figure it out," Gary stated, rubbing his cheek against the Avocato's neck.

"Can you let go of me now?" Avocato grunted, already feeling his fur standing on end from the unwelcome contact.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. When you only have robots to talk to, you start going a little loopy," the human laughed, his voice taking on a manic tone.

"Ooookay." Avocato backed up a step, running his eyes over the human. He was not a teenager anymore, but he was definitely young for an adult.

"Listen buddy, I only have one thing to say to you," the blond man suddenly announced, staring intensely at Avocato.

"What?" Avocato asked, unconsciously reaching for his gun. If this guy tried anything…

"Do You Play… **Cards**?"

Avocato felt his mouth drop open. Wait, what?

* * *

"Isn't this great? I mean just us guys, sitting here, chillin', playing cards," Gary announced, leaning back in his seat. He was attempting to come off as calm and collected, but Avocato could see the excitement practically radiating from him.

"Yes… We're certainly having fun," the Ventrexian said. He normally enjoyed a good game of cards, but five hours of the same game was getting to be a bit much. Still, the little heir was clearly happy to have company.

"Oh my gosh! So tell me everything. Why are you here, AVO-KAT-OH?" Gary emphasized, finally pushing aside the game.

"The lords of the empire sent me to escort you back to Tera Con Prime," Avocato admitted.

The human's enthusiasm immediately disappeared, and he turned his gaze to the window. Beyond was an endless expanse of space and stars. "Oh, I see. I just kind of figured H.U.E. would fly the ship back, like the last time."

"Wait, the last time?" Avocato asked, raising a brow.

"Yeah. Third times the charm, I guess. Granted, this time they imprisoned me here for 5 years. I was younger the last two times, so it was, like, a month the first time, and a single year the second time," Gary informed him.

"I had no idea," the Ventrexian admitted, pondering his next words very carefully. "Do you know that your parents are…"

"Power hungry maniacs trying to open a space vortex that could potentially destroy the universe?" the young human stated, turning away from the window to give him a dead pan stare.

"Yes, that," Avocato agreed, wincing.

"Dude, why do you think I'm here? I kept trying to get away from them, but they always caught me," Gary insisted, pushing the mess of cards off the table dramatically.

"And then they put you in a time out for 5 years," H.U.E. stated, interrupting their conversation.

"Shut up, H.U.E.! I am a grown adult. Grown adults do NOT get put in time out," Gary insisted, pointing a finger accusingly at the ceiling.

"If you say so, Gary," the AI replied.

"And it's CAPTAIN Gary, to you!" the young man exclaimed, folding his arms over his chest in a huff.

Avocato found himself unexpectedly chuckling at the human's behavior. It was rather childlike, and reminded him of his son. His son… "Gary, there's something else I need to tell you."

The ventrexian explained what had happened, watching the young heir's eyes widen in horror as he spoke of the lords demand that he kill his son. And then their instructions when Avocato refused. Once he was done, the feline waiting patiently for a response.

"Oooookay, that was a lot. They've never murdered children before. At least, not that I know of. Alright then, I'm going to help you!" Gary announced, standing up from his seat. He made a show of putting one foot on the tabletop in a commanding pose, his right arm outstretched toward Avocato. "But first… we CLASP."

"What?" the feline asked, blinking at him in amazement.

"This is the next step. I need to know I can trust you," the human insisted. Avocato hesitantly took his hand. "Real Raw Friendship Mode engaged. Now we're friends for life," Gary stated, smiling happily at the ventrexian.

"Works for me, baby," Avocato found himself saying. The human's cheeks pinked a little at the enduring phrase.

"H.U.E., take us back to the empire. Where I will pretend to get married to a handsome cat man, and we'll rescue little Cato… AND stop my parents… AND save the universe!"

"Yeah! Wait, what?" Avocato asked, feeling his own cheeks heating beneath his fur.

"What? I'm not allowed to find you attractive? Dude, you're like mega ruggedly hot. But, then again, I have been alone for 5 years so… Nah, you're totally hot,"

"Thank you," the feline whispered, only to receive a blinding smile in return. Why did the human have to be so cute?

* * *

 _(back on Tera Con Prime)_

"Sooooo, we didn't just get pretend married, did we?" Gary commented, once they'd reached the doorway to Gary's suite.

"Nope," Avocato replied. He could still taste Gary's lips against his own. The human had planted one on him the moment the judge had said, "You may smooch your spouse."

"Pop had the entire ceremony waiting for us the moment we left the ship," Gary realized, running a shaky hand through his golden hair.

"Yep," Avocato agreed.

"So, we're actually married then." The blond glanced over at his new friend/husband, waiting for an appropriate reaction.

"Yep," was the only thing the Ventrexian could think to say.

"DAD!" Little Cato was suddenly racing toward them, flinging himself into Avocato's arms.

"Oh my gosh. Your son is so freakin' cute. You're gonna be a heartbreaker someday, kiddo. Just like your sexy dad," Gary stated, smiling down at them.

"Ewwww," Cato groaned.

"Gary," Avocato warned, but he could feel his cheeks warming at the compliments.

"Now we're one big HAPPY family," a familiar voice announced. The entire group turned warily to see the Lord Commander and the Lord Dictator walking toward them.

"Gary, aren't you going to give your POP a hug? I haven't seen you in so long, my child," the little alien announced, gesturing the blond over.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. It's, uh, good to see you, too," Gary whispered, trudging over. Kneeling down, he let his other father pull him in close.

"Oooh, I knew 5 years away from everything would change your attitude, Gary. And now I have a grandson to spoil, as well. I can't wait!" the Lord Commander cheered.

"Dad," Gary whispered, glancing up at his father. The man's gaze was like stone, cold and merciless.

"Your rooms are as you left them. Do not try to run away again," the Lord Dictator stated, nodding at the group, before turning around and striding off.

"He's always such a buzzkill. Probably off to bed one of his floozies, again. Don't worry, son. You can always come to me if you need anything." The little Greytrexian turned his amused gaze to the felines that were watching them.

"Go to your rooms now, grandson. Your fathers have a honeymoon to consider. I'd normally suggest a stay on Theopia 9, but John and I are… concerned that you're not entirely in our corner, as of yet. So, you'll just have to enjoy the comforts of our base, instead. Have an enjoyable wedding night," the Lord Commander insisted.

Under his watchful gaze, Gary and Avocato quickly made their getaway into Gary's suite.

* * *

Note: For now, I'm going to end this here. I have several more fics in the works with the jackspeed and garycato pairing.


	4. New Beginnings

**Chapter 4: New Beginnings**

"Soooo…"

Avocato pressed a finger to his husband's lips. "Hold that thought, baby. I need to know something first." Taking a deep breath to steady himself, the general leaned closer, looking deeply into the human's alluring blue eyes. "My son — will he be **safe** with the Lord Commander?"

Gary smiled reassuringly. "Pops is over-protective, even on his bad days. Now that we're married, little Cato IS his grandson. Honestly, I think he'll try to spoil him rotten — while at the same time attempting to mold him into a future ruler of the empire."

"I see." That was _something_ of a relief. At least he was out of any immediate danger. "And the Lord Dictator?" Avocato asked.

Gary hesitated, unconsciously rubbing his neck. "Dad's the one to keep an eye on. He's the _'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'_ type. I should know."

Avocato felt the fur on the back of his neck stand on end when the human suddenly grabbed his hand. "Don't worry, I'll keep him safe. He's my son now, too…" the blond trailed off, his gaze dropping to his feet. "If-if that's alright with you, that is. I know you were pretty much forced to marry me. My parents expect us to share a bed, but I wouldn't assume…"

The general shook his head in amazement. It was unbelievable. The little heir was just the most adorable, considerate, and all around **decent** person he'd ever met. He was nothing like Avocato had first pictured him.

"Sorry, I'm babbling again. I'm not used to talking to someone that isn't a robot. Especially not someone as cute as you," the human said.

The Ventrexian chuckled, reaching out a hand to brush a lock of hair out of the young man's face. Blue eyes blinked up at him, startled. "It's okay, Gary. Let's just take it slow. Get to know each other. We don't have to rush anything."

The human smiled back at him, clearly relieved. "And besides, I find you cute, too," Avocato added, watching the younger man's cheeks turn a brilliant shade of red. Neither was sure who moved first, but their lips were suddenly pressed together. It was hesitant, at first, but quickly progressed into something more demanding, as if their mouths had a mind of their own. Avocato should have known better. After five years alone, Gary was likely touch-starved and lonely, eager to cling to the first person that showed him the smallest bit of affection.

The general tried to pull back, but the little heir took it as a sign to lean closer, his arms wrapping eagerly around Avocato's neck as he continued to press sweet kisses to his lips.

"Mmmm, Gary…"

"Hmmm?"

Avocato pulled away for real this time, resting his hand on the wall behind Gary's head. "We're supposed to be taking it slow, luv."

"But you're good at kissing, Avocato," the younger man insisted, standing on his toes to try to get closer again. The Ventrexian evaded his embrace, and hefted the smaller man into his arms.

"Handsome and strong," Gary purred, cuddling close to his chest.

"Come on now. We've had a long day. Time for bed," Avocato insisted, making his way across the room to the crimson covered bed he'd caught a glimpse of when they'd stepped into the suite.

"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" Gary asked, cheekily.

Avocato could only chuckle at the adorable request coming from his new husband. "If you're good."

Gary perked up, his blue eyes sparkling. "Can we sleep AND cuddle?"

"Fine. Sleep and cuddle," Avocato laughed, nuzzling his new husband's nose. Damn the little human was cute.

* * *

Note: I didn't like where I left this fic in chapter 3. It was desperately crying out for a better ending.


End file.
